200+Mark Twain Quotes on Life, Travel, Politics, & More Here

Mark Twain Quotes on Life
This collection of Mark Twain quotes includes more lessons about life, death and everything in between that you need to live a full life. If you are looking for Mark Twain Quotes on Life then you have come to the right place. Here are 200+ Mark Twain Quotes on Life, Travel, Politics, & More Here.

So, if you need an anchor that will keep your feet firmly on the ground, then these Top 200+ Mark Twain Quotes on Life are a must read! Mark Twain is the author of some of the first best American novels.

Mark Twain Quotes on Life

“Books are the liberated spirits of men.”

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”

“If books are not good company, where will I find it?”

“There are lies, damned lies and statistics.”

“His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.”

“I don’t like to commit myself to heaven and hell—you see, I have friends in both places.”

“Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.”

“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”

“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”

“Hunger is the handmaid of genius.”

“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered—either by themselves or by others.”

“The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

“Do something every day that you don’t want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

“Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.”

“A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”

“Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

“What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.”

“I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.”

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”

“Action speaks louder than words, but not nearly as often.”

“If we would learn what the human race really is at the bottom, we need only observe it in election times.”

“It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”

“If you hold a cat by the tail, you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”

“The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.”

“The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.”

“They spell it ‘da Vinci’ and pronounce it ‘da Vinchy.’ Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.”

“I have never taken any exercise—except sleeping and resting—and I never intend to take any.”

“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.”

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

“It is wiser to find out than suppose.”

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

“Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

“Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one’s head.”

“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”

“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”

“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”

“Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.”

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.”

“There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.”

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”

“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

“A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.”

“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others.”

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

“The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.”

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”

“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.”

“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”

“I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any.”

“The finest clothing made is a person’s own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.”

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

“Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.”

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.”

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.”

“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

“If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.”

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”

“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”

“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.”

“Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired.”

“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”

“Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.”

“God puts something good and lovable in every man His hands create.”

“Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.”

“You can find in a text whatever you bring, if you will stand between it and the mirror of your imagination. You may not see your ears, but they will be there.”

“Only one thing is impossible for God—to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.”

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

“Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.”

“Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.”

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

“Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

“I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping.”

“The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.”

“Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.”

“Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.”

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well.”

“Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that makes you smile.”

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

“Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.”

“I was born modest, but it didn’t last.”

“The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.”

“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.”

“With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.”

“In religion and politics, people’s beliefs and convictions are, in almost every case, second-hand and without examination.”

“No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.”

“It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things—freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”

“Man is kind enough when he is not excited by religion.”

“Zeal and sincerity can carry a new religion further than any other missionary except fire and sword.”

“Buy land, they’re not making it anymore.”

“Let men label you as they may, if you alone of all the nation decide one way, and that way be the right way by your convictions of the right, you have done your duty by yourself and by your country, hold up your head for you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“We have the best government that money can buy.”

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

“The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: a disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories—and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.”

“Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.”

“Some people scorn a cat and think it not an essential; but the Clemens tribe are not of these.”

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”

“To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.”

“All good things arrive unto them that wait and don’t die in the meantime.”

“There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land and work again after a cheerful, careless voyage.”

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life.”

“Apparently, there is nothing that cannot happen today.”

“One must travel to learn.”

“Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven and hell, and I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.”

“Classic—a book which people praise and don’t read.”

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn’t.”

“You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?”

“I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”

“Education—the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.”

“History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”

“It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others—and less trouble.”

“A full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.”

“The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

“Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.”

“It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.”

“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”

“Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt.”

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience—this is the ideal life.”

“The trouble ain’t that there are too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.”

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”

“Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”

“When your watch gets out of order, you have a choice of two things to do—throw it in the fire or take it to the watch-tinker. The former is the quickest.”

“Don’t wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality.”

“English humor is hard to appreciate though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put ‘laughter’ in the wrong place.”

“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.”

“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”

“Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.”

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very.’ Your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”

“The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.”

“The higher animals have no religion, and we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter.”

“If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.”

“Man is a religious animal. He is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the true religion—several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn’t straight.”

“Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.”

“No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.”

“The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.”

“How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and how hard it is to undo that work again!”

“If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.”

“If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.”

“If you want to change the future, you must change what you’re doing in the present.”

“To believe yourself brave is to be brave; it is the only essential thing.”

“Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them, the rest of us could not succeed.”

“A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.”

“Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.”

“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”

“You can’t reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.”

“All generalizations are false, including this one.”

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

“Necessity is the mother of taking chances.”

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir. Mighty scarce.”

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

“Always respect your superiors; if you have any.”

“What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse—the necessity of securing one’s self-approval.”

“Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes—no one knows whence, and cannot explain itself.”

“If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.”

“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked.”

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

“It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others — and less trouble.”

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